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Sunday, 22 September 2013

Funny Quotes Coffee

Funny Quotes Coffee Definition

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A leaf fluttered in through the window this morning, as if supported by the rays of the sun, a bird settled on the fire escape, joy in the task of coffee, joy accompanied me as I walked.
Anais Nin
If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.
Mae West
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.
T. S. Eliot
When traveling with someone, take large does of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.
Helen Hayes
I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, 'Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.'
Jim Carrey
To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions.
Hugh Jackman The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee and I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun.
John D. Rockefeller
I like to do weird things in the shower, like drink my coffee, brush my teeth and drink a smoothie. It's good time management.
Michelle Williams
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
Dave Barry A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
Garrison Keillor
A 41-inch bust and a lot of perseverance will get you more than a cup of coffee - a lot more.
Jayne Mansfield
Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25, unless we haven't had our coffee, in which case we feel 107.
Martha Beck
Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Decorate your homes with lots of mistletoe… this won’t really help the environment… But more kissing has got to be good for world peace.
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.
Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.
Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?
Christmas just like a day at the office; you do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukka’ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukka!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.
Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.
Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.:
Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.

Funny Quotes Coffee